In Retrospect
by Sunshine170
Summary: An encounter that neither of them expected,.... and how it went. They hadn't expected to meet at all, let alone meet like this. Juliet and Abigail and how their lives connected once again over Shawn.


Juliet smiled down at her daughter, as she felt her little fingers grip around her hand tightly. Allison was surveying the red brick building with her sharp eyes showing no visible signs of nervousness though the tightening grip said otherwise. Squeezing her hand back gently, she led her through the school entrance, thinking for the zillionth time that her baby girl was already old enough for Kindergarten.

The years had gone by so fast….

It felt like only yesterday that she'd been tiny enough to fit in between her arms.

In fact it seemed like only yesterday when she met an infuriating albeit charming man at the diner, who gradually but persistently turned her universe upside down and dragged her into his quirky world of 80s references and child like enthusiasm. Who made her bungee jump from a helicopter to the ocean, but also nursed her to health when she was sick. Who built a life and family with her, created the most precious and perfect child with her.

To think at one time, she wouldn't take him seriously….

Snapping out of her memories, Juliet realized they had reached the classroom. Looking at the brightly colored and decorate room which was abuzz with loud children and parents, Juliet felt a surge of pride and loss at the same time. Bending down to Allison's eye level, she began fussing over imaginary specks of dust on her dress. Brushing away the stray locks from her forehead, she ran a hand through her hair.

"This looks like fun right sweetie?" She asked, tucking away a strand of brown hair behind her ear, smiling at the way Allison was processing the noise and chaos with her wide eyes.

"Uh huh." Allison nodded flashing her excited smile, though Juliet could see she was a little scared.

"You'll make so many friends and learn so many new and interesting things here. You'll like school." She took Allison's hands in hers and kissed them softly.

"But will they all like me?" She asked tugging at her backpack, unsurely, showing just a glimmer of the vulnerability that hid behind the Spencer brand of confidence.

"Of course they'll like you Ally, is there anyone whose met you who doesn't like you yet." Juliet said laughing, pulling her into a hug. Pulling away after a moment, she kissed her on the top of her head and looked at her face searchingly.

"So you'll be okay right?" Juliet wanted to be sure.

Allison nodded this time, giving her a thousand watt grin, her insecurities apparently gone.

"Is that my teacher?" She said pointing to a lady behind the desk, who was currently wiping the board.

"I think so…." Juliet's voice trailed off as she saw the woman.

Abigail Lightar….

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Allison .E. Spencer

She'd known the moment she saw the name on the student register. It had to be his child.

Their child….

It could have been another Spencer, any other Spencer, but Abigail knew it was him. She didn't even to have to see the parents' name listed right next to the child's. The one that said Shawn Spencer and Juliet O'Hara.

The letters seemed to jump at her through the pages.

She had watched in silent observation at the way Juliet knelt beside her daughter and smiled at her gently, telling her something undoubtedly to make her comfortable on her first day. The kind of exchange between parents and children that was hardly uncommon on the first day of kindergarten. But it seemed to hold her attention regardless.

It could have been her…..

Abigail could have been the one helping her daughter through her first day of school, soothing her fears with words of comfort and encouragement, giving her that smile, that would make her feel special and unique.

She couldn't help thinking how different everything could have been. Shawn and her, in another time and another place, they would have made perfect sense.

A time before Juliet…

Because once she came into his life, he had always only belonged to her. He probably didn't even realize it himself back then. He pretended otherwise… that day at the drive-in and the two weeks after that. But she realized it. The way he seemed so determined to make this work, too determined. Like he had to prove to himself that his heart truly wanted her.

Men could be such fools….

She put him out his misery soon enough, knowing there was no way it could work out between them. They'd ended it cordially, not even trying the let's stay friends routine. She'd never seen him again. But she knew in her heart that he would end up with Juliet one day or the other. It was meant to be.

Abigail saw Juliet hug Allison tightly and kiss her forehead. She then seemed to look in her general direction at something her daughter asked, freezing as she finally saw her.

This would be interesting…..

Juliet almost stopped breathing for the next few seconds. as she looked at Abigail, who on the other hand didn't seem to be so surprised to see her. If her detective skills had kicked in at their usual pace, she would have realized that she would have known about her being the teacher and all that. But it wasn't registering right now.

All she could think of was that it was her.

Abigail… Shawn's Abigail.

She offered her a polite smile, and Juliet's lips moved of their own accord to return it. Juliet looked at her unsurely for the next couple of seconds as she walked towards them.

"Detective O'Hara, it's been long." She held out her hand, her tone nothing but sincere. Juliet took her hand and shook it, the shock somewhat wearing off.

"Juliet. It's… Juliet." She said hoping her voice didn't betray her nervousness.

"I know." Abigail nodded_. _

_I've always known_

"You teach this class?" Juliet asked, suddenly remembering the whole point of this fateful day.

"I do actually." Abigail bent down to see Allison, who had apparently been forgotten by her mother in view of the blast from the past. Her eyes were anxious and curious, her gaze piercing, like she could read right through her.

_Just like him._

"Hi, you must be Allison. I am Miss Lightar, I' am going to be your teacher" She said smiling at the little girl. "Are you excited about your first day?"

Allison simply nodded in response, moving closer to Juliet. "Daddy said I can do anything I can want except feed art paper to the gold fish. He said the teacher won't like that. Is he right?" She looked up at her expecting her father to be validated.

"We don't have a gold fish." Abigail shrugged, knowing that Shawn's advice probably stemmed from personal experience. Of course he would have fed art paper to the goldfish

"Oh… okay." Allison nodded. "How about an iguana?"

"No… sorry." Abigail laughed.

"If we got one, could we maybe feed it art paper Miss Lightar?" She said looking at her pleadingly.

"We don't feed art paper to pets Allison." Juliet said sternly.

"Daddy said it was a science experiment." Allison said challengingly. "Aren't we going to learn science in school?"

"Honey I've told you this before, your dad doesn't really know so much about science." Juliet said sighing. "Why don't you go find a nice desk for yourself?" she said patting her head. Almost instantly, Allison's interest in science and iguanas had vanished as she committed herself to the exciting task of finding a desk.

"She's beautiful." Abigail commented looking at the little girl as she bounced off, who was the spitting image of Juliet.

Juliet simply nodded her face lighting up with motherly pride.

"She has his eyes." Abigail said, without thinking, not noticing the way Juliet stiffened for a half a sec. That statement was an innocent observation, but it seemed to rise things in her, she didn't particularly find admirable.

Why was she begrudging this woman? Because she'd had a relationship with her husband once. Big deal, half the female population of Santa Barbara came under that category. Well relationships were a long stretch, but still. It's not like Shawn had been the epitome of virtue before they'd gotten together. Juliet was pretty sure she could qualify for a record of some sort for running into your husband's exes way more than the average number of times in a lifetime. Many of them had left her amused and had hardly merited irritation let alone jealousy.

But this was even pettier. It wasn't that he'd been with Abigail that bothered her so much as the fact that he'd been with Abigail over her. He'd chosen her and that had hurt Juliet a lot more back than she'd ever told him. Seeing her today was bringing up all those old feelings.

Shirking off that particular road of memories, she managed to reply in an even tone. "She does." She then looked at Abigail and smiled.

"She has a lot more than that that's his. You think you'll be able to handle her. She can be… exacting." She said knowing that her wash board stomach and petite figure had little to do with the daily cardio and a lot more with parenting a particularly rambunctious five year old.

"I think I'll manage." Abigail nodded feeling confident that she could handle hyper kids, even ones that had inherited genes that were designed to stay undisciplined. She watched Juliet, look at Allison thoughtfully.

"Are you worried Juliet? About this, about us because I could have her transferred if it's a problem." She said, knowing she could never work with the little girl if she couldn't have a relationship with her parents.

"No..." Juliet exclaimed. "Of course not, that's not what… that's not necessary. I am not worried." She floundered, shaking her head. "It's just… "

"Weird." Abigail finished for her, knowing what Juliet intended to say.

"Yeah, a little." Juliet nodded giving an apologetic shrug. "Actually a lot weird."

"Tell me about it." Abigail said knowingly.

The two women looked at Allison thoughtfully who had obviously made herself a fan club already, and was no doubt sharing her father's preposterous ideas about science to a bunch of kids listening with rapt attention.

For once in their life they were in perfect understanding with each other, both of them thinking the same thing. Were they ready for this? For a year ahead of PTAs and School trips and many things which required them to see each other again. Many times over, talk about thing, actual conversations and not polite small talk. Just the two of them and …

_Shawn!_

It hit them almost simultaneously. He would have to figure somewhere in this whole thing. Abigail almost felt stupid that she hadn't realized he wasn't here with Juliet. Had he found out about her and purposely avoided coming here?

"Shawn couldn't make it?" She asked casually, hoping Juliet didn't read anything into the question.

"Oh I didn't him allow him to. In fact I forbid him from coming." Juliet shook her head matter of factly.

Abigail raised a single eyebrow in curiosity. Surprised more by the fact that someone was actually capable of successfully forbidding Shawn from doing anything he really wanted than by the fact that Juliet had actually forbidden him.

Juliet saw Abigail's puzzled face and laughed. "Trust me on this, having Shawn in a room full of kids, construction paper and toys, not the best idea. I learnt my lesson on the first day of pre-school." She rolled her eyes. "Plus if he sees me getting all emotional, he'll tease me for the rest of this year."

"That about sounds like Shawn." Abigail nodded, remembering the one time he'd picked her up at her school when she was almost compelled to serving him a time out to stop him from fooling around with things.

"You got married." Juliet said her eyes darting towards the other woman's rings. She had seen them earlier but hadn't really processed the information.

"Yeah, I did." Abigail fiddled with her ring self-consciously, her lips curving into a coy smile. It had been funny, how she'd met Max almost days after she and Shawn had broken up. They'd fallen in love almost at an alarming speed and the rest had been blissfully history.

"He's a lucky guy." Juliet said sincerely, seeing how happy Abigail seemed.

"He knows." Abigail joked, shrugging. She then looked at Juliet and gave her a warm smile. "He's really lucky to have you too Juliet. More than he'll ever be able to let you know."

Juliet nodded, at a loss of words. It hadn't been the first time a complete stranger had told her how much Shawn cared about her.

"Believe me, He tries." She said lightly, though she was being honest. "Things have a funny way of working themselves out." She mused focusing her ever present gaze on her daughter, knowing never in her whole life, \had she expected to be dishing about her life with Shawn to his first love.

Abigail simply smiled, knowing what Juliet meant. "I think they work out really well."

"Even when we don't think we want them to."


End file.
